If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
