i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
