can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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