its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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