There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
