i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
