I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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