Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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