my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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