I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
