u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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