I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
