just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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