never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
