The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
