i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We need to feng shui this bitch.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
