You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
