Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
