no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
