just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
