Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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