Porn is love you can see.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
