Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
