I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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