Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
