yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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