I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
