I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
