I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
do nipples grow back?
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