Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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