Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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