vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
