Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
