My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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