party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
