"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We are all done wearing pants today
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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