I just made out with a guy for $7.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
