I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
