this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
