so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
