So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
