he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
