so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
