Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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