My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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