i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
