do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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