I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
