when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
