I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
